Reasons Why You Won’t Achieve Some Goals
There are lots of reasons why people I have worked with have not achieved their goals, but these are the most common:
- It wasn’t aligned with your values, so your heart wasn’t really in it. In this case you would have struggled right from the start to find the energy and the motivation required to be successful with this goal.
- On your way to achieving your goal you became a different person and the original goal was no longer appropriate for the person you are now.
- If you have a lot invested in achieving the goal, you might find that your fear of not getting it is receiving more energy than achieving the goal. What we focus upon in our lives is what we tend to attract into our lives. Where you have a lot of emotion attached to a goal, you may find that what you attract into your life is more of that emotion rather than the outcome you are seeking. This is because the greatest portion of your focus is upon the emotion (usually fear that you won’t achieve your goal) rather than upon the goal itself. If this happens, remove the emotional attachment to the outcome by sitting and planning for the girl and then in a non-emotional way follow the steps to achieve it. You must believe that you have done and are doing all you can to achieve the goal and know that worrying will just hold it back.
- When you think things are not going your way, let go of your idea of how they should go. You may be surprised at the unusual ways in which your desires are ultimately fulfilled. Sometimes we try to force goals to be achieved in timelines that are too tight for us. It can take a while to build this foundation for some goals. Be kind to yourself during this period.
- It would not serve you to achieve the goal. Sometimes your greatest gifts may come from unanswered desires. I remember having my heart broken as a teenager when my boyfriend started going out with someone else. Every night I prayed and focused upon us staying together, but it didn’t happen. It wasn’t until years later I realized that if our relationship had succeeded, I wouldn’t have become the person that I am. In the failure of one of my greatest desires lay the possibility for me to become something else.
- Something even better is coming or has come to you instead.
- You are attempting to consciously overcome an unconscious habit. In this case you will need to examine what you do at an unconscious level so you have an awareness of the steps you will need to take to combat the ‘trigger’ that is giving rise to the habit.
- You have been practising procrastination. Many of us do. The best way to overcome procrastination is to focus upon the outcome and the benefits you will receive from it and then take action.
- Your fear (usually of failing) is so great that you don’t take the necessary steps to achieve your goal. The only way to overcome fear is to meet it head on and move through it. If you don’t, then the fear wins and your inactivity guarantees your failure.
There are some goals it is best we never achieve as it would not be in our best interests to do so. For those ones, we smile and move on with our lives. There are other goals where we are using unhelpful strategies in our attempt to achieve them. We can be successful with these goals if we change our strategies.
And as a final passing thought … what is the greatest gift we can get from failing to achieve a goal? Surely it is the gift of resilience … and isn’t resilience one of the greatest character traits a human being can have?
(Based on an article by Petris Lapis, Director Petris Lapis Pty Ltd, published in ezine articles)